Monthly Archives: May 2013

Loss of mem'ry can Fire

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Author: TeeJay

Posted: Sat May 25, 2013 10:56 pm

Apps for your iPhone that exercise your memory.

Yeah man unfortunately all psychotropic drugs cause memory loss to some degree. Sub, methadone, all opioids, as well as many psych medications. There’s this misconception that opioids are a relatively "clean" drug, compared to cocaine / amphetamines in terms of the damage they can cause in the brain. This isn’t true. When high on opioids, people’s breathing can stop at times for minutes. That’s true for the clean pharma opioids as well as heroin. Taking 2 breaths every minute takes its toll on the brain unfortunately.

It can be hard to accept that some of the damage is done by our own decisions, and our own choices to get involved with drugs. Personally I think it’s important to own / take responsibility for at least some of the damage.

Some of my issues? I’ve got a tremor from lithium. Even when I stop taking it for months, the tremor still comes out when my anxiety rises. Anti-psychotics like Seroquel / Zyprexa can cause movement disorders of the mouth / tongue / face. Fortunately I don’t experience this noticeably, though in older people / people who have been on them for a long time, you can see it happening. The docs call it Tardive Dyskinesia. Buprenorphine can cause myoclonic jerks if taken too long, though fortunately it can be controlled with a reduced dose, and largely goes away when you stop taking it. It can also wreak havoc with a persons endocrine functioning – ie hormone production / testosterone, lack of libido etc etc.

I talked to my doctor some time ago about my perception of medication and drugs of abuse. I told him I believed that all psychotropic drugs come at a cost. Any benefit you receive from a medication is offset by the presence of side-effects or lasting damage / changes. He said he didn’t believe that at all, and there are good drugs (ie medication) and bad drugs (drugs of abuse), and only the bad drugs come at a price.

How do i start?

Posted on by

Author: TeeJay

Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 7:32 am

Xanax is fine to take during induction on Sub. As far as I know there’s no direct interaction between the two. Whether an addict should take Xanax at all is another thing altogether.

If you’re concerned about withdrawal and really need a benzo, Valium would be a better option because it has less potential for addiction. It also helps more with the muscle aches than other benzos. But personally I don’t think you will need to take benzos to aid with your induction at all. I’d only resort to it if you suffer from precipitated withdrawal. If the induction is smooth, don’t take em. And ask yourself whether you need it, orwant it.

Suboxone Makes Me Fat and Boring and Stupid

Posted on by

Author: TeeJay

Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 7:36 am

Quote:
I’ve learned, as a psychiatrist, that the people who walk around with smiles on their faces usually did something that made the smile happen. I’ve learned that ‘feeling happy’ does not just happen for most people. And I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who answered, when asked about stress, ‘no—I don’t have anxiety

That!!

To rehab, or not to rehab… Is that the question?

Posted on by

Author: TeeJay

Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 8:38 am

Hey guys…

I’m toying with the idea of going to rehab. There’s a few reasons why I’m considering shelving my Suboxone treatment and going the complete abstinence route.. It seems that since my relapse, Suboxone hasn’t been holding my cravings like it did beforehand, likely because I pushed the envelope and my habit increased a lot these last few months. I’m also more prone to Sub’s side-effects. Even being on the same dose as before, I feel like my testosterone levels are low as fuck. I just don’t seem to care about sex, like there’s no interest. And I know the Sub is a factor because when I miss a dose, I start to feel normal again.

The rehabs I’m looking at are therapeutic communities. They’re a cross between boot-camp and rehab really, and last for between 6 and 18 months. Residents have to work, cook, clean and manage the facility. Residents are also expected to challenge other’s negative behaviours. It can get full-on, and it’s not uncommon for all residents to be woken up at 3am for emergency house meetings, or to be made to clean toilets. If you leave your coffee cup lying around and another resident catches you and lags you in, you gotta write pages on some topic like "Why is self-responsibility important to my recovery" etc etc. You’re also forced to lag in other residents … if the staff / seniors feel you’re not holding your peers accountable, you can get booted from the program.

If I choose to go, I’ll be put on an 8-week taper starting from the time I arrive. People on drug-replacement aren’t treated with kiddy-gloves either. I’ll have to work hard just like all the other residents even during detox.

Reason I’m considering putting myself through the mill like that is because I really want to, or even need to get off opioids. I can’t stay on Suboxone for life. It’s too numbing. Having experienced recovery without Sub or methadone, I know how it feels to be clean and free of dependence of any kind. I have done a long-term rehab like that before, and only managed to stay clean 13 months. However, that time I made the mistake of going off my psych medication. I then went paranoid at around 1 year clean, and turned back to drugs within a few weeks. I’ve now reached some peace about the fact I’m bipolar, and need medication long-term.

What’s holding me back from going to rehab is the fact that I feel a bit like I’ve been there done that. I don’t really know if it’s a step backwards or a step forwards. I’m nearly 30, and don’t want to spend 18 months in rehab that I could be spending studying at uni. But I also don’t feel yet like I’m ready to return to uni either.

But there’s also a sense of hope in the idea that I can use rehab as a fresh start. I’d sell most of my remaining possessions to pay off the debt I accrued, and use rehab as an opportunity to have a fresh start at 30 years old.

Anyway, it’d be good to get some kinda guidance or just your opinions on this … especially from those who’ve faced a similar choice in their recovery in the past.

Thanks.

I spoke too soon

Posted on by

Author: BeautifulDisaster

Posted: Sun May 26, 2013 8:48 am

Xonedone, i cant totally understand where your worries come from. I just wanted to let you knoe incase you didnt already that buprenorphine does not have the same opiate blocking effect at lower doses that it does at higher doses. Im assuming thats the reason you want to be in wd for your surgery, to make sute you get adequate pain relief? Many people who take bupe for pain relief purposes at lower doses, often take a full agonist for breakthrough pain.

You also mentioned that 2 weeks into 1mg you are now starting to expirence wd. Have you tried splitting your dose? Ive read alot of expirences on here where the person tried a split dose and it really helped them. The reason is because bupe acts more like a SOA at lower doses, so often once a day dosening dosent last the full 24 hours anymore. Just throwing out ideas here. Also the "ababba" method where you would kinf of stagger back and fourth between the new dose anf the old dose until you are more stable on the new dose.

Now that your surgery is just a few days away i can totally understand your concerns you dont want to have diareah or puke. If its okay with your surgeon or whoever you would have to get the okay from, take immodium. The active ingredient in immodium, loperamide is actually an opiate. Loperamide dose not cross the blood brain barrier so it does not act on the cenral nervous system like other opiates but it does work on the opiate receptors throughout your digestive system, so it can really help with diareah.