Author: oiler1995

Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 4:37 am

Like i said 12 hours isn’t a problem for me,especially with the sleep hours added in.I messed it up by sniffing H again.All i can do is try again.I think a bit of xanax will help me a bit during the waiting period to induct and i have been careful with it,i am not abusing it.Like Kitty said i need to break that addiction cycle.The only thing on my mind when my eyes open in bed is sniffing my bags of H,first thing in the morning.I have my own home in the country in New York.I been divorced for a good couple of years.I am originally from Brooklyn,New York and retired from the city of NY.I don’t have many friends since i moved upstate and i live alone.So the boredom and lonliness gets to me sometimes even though my father lives 10
minutes from me,so i think this has alot to do with my addiction also.It’s still a horror to wake up knowing i have no H and can’t sniff my bags when i wake up,i am so used to it,it’s been like this for over a year.But it does give me a bit of relief knowing those 20 subs are on hand.

Author: MovieMaker1

Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 9:02 am

BECAUSE NOTHING EVER CHANGE!

THIS FORUM IS TURNING INTO THEN EXACT THING IT WAS CREATED TO AVOID!

Go ahead and keep telling people getting off is a good idea and cheer them through wds.

Just pissing in the freaking wind…

Nothing has to do with you directly horsegal.

Just overall vibes and crap.

Author: MovieMaker1

Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 9:21 am

Yea man. You said it. Staying clean with suboxone is way too much work. The hassle of it all is just not worth it. I mean calling my dealers, stealing creatively, coming up with money, being in constant worry about opiates… Those were the days. Such a breeze.

This whole working a great job, getting married, living clean, actually having some possessions…. All pretty much all due to this one medicine…. Who would want to waste their time trying to take that crap? I have much better things to do than make a few phone calls every once and awhile. Now calling my dealer… At least that was paying off somehow!

I’m just sick of working so hard for what I have. Staying clean just isn’t worth the effort folks. I gotta tell ya… This really blows because of the time I fave to put into it. People say I’m just being a self centered drug addict that is making a huge mistake…. But I am totally better off. Without question. At least I won’t have to waste my time worrying about this crap anymore. At least I kind of had my shit together on dope, but this is just too much guys.

So. Getting off of suboxone is a great idea for me too. It has done nothing but make my life miserable due to all this wasted time. I doubt I’m even an addict anymore honestly. I mean. I haven’t even had the time to think about using lately and don’t really want to anyways. So I’ll be fine without this stuff after my wd. It’s just like a diabetic stopping insulin…. No big deal. Right?

Thank god I’ll be free! Once and for all! I gotta say this though. The one good thing… If it wasn’t for those long and hard work packed 2 months I’ve been at this too…. I wouldn’t be the man I am today… And fir sure wouldn’t be able to just stop taking the only thing that kept me from using.

Sincerely Yours,

OUTOFMUH FREKYN MYND

seriously…..

Author: MovieMaker1

Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 9:24 am

Excuse my french but…. FUCK YES!

Author: lack of armour

Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 9:41 am

Definitely agree on opening up. I have no regrets or embarrassment about my past drug use. It is a part of me. No shyness about talking that through. The whole point to me stopping suboxone was to reintegrate into my community of friends again. I have always been reclusive by nature, but never isolated. And suboxone really took a toll on my ability to deal with social scenes. So yes! Communication and talking with people are on the horizon. I just don’t want to dwell on endless laments about my recovery and past drug use with people. It is a common thing to do, and can be tedious sometimes. Trying to focus my energies more on things a little less dark these days. And i have been known to swim in the darkness.

Author: lack of armour

Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 9:46 am

Day 8. Feeling pretty good today. Got some sleep. Anyone know that Diodes tune ‘Tired of Waking Up Tired’?
Not sure if we can post links here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynFK5ylCbTM
Classic Canadian punk rock. But so true for me. All through my suboxone treatment i never woke up in the morning feeling rested. Today I woke up ready to jump out of bed. A rare thing.

Author: Romeo

Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 9:54 am

As long as you have a valid prescription for Suboxone, they can’t fire you for being on Suboxone. That’s my understanding of the law.

Author: lack of armour

Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 11:07 pm

Am nearing the end of day 6 today. It never really got bad for me. I am so used to heroin withdrawl that this was a cake walk comparatively. I have been taking Clonidine and Klonopin at night and have been sleeping okay. The real difficulty is the fatigue and general sadness that i can’t shake. Which I know will be there for a good long while. I am so in need of some light to shine through here. I long for a day when i can see the world in three-dimensional color again and feel true inspiration from things i am involved in. I have been coasting with very little emotional capacity for 2 years.
I think I am getting sick tonight though. Throat infection. Maybe my immune system is vulnerable. I have been taking all the right vitamins and supplements. Eating well. Walking my dog a bunch. Maybe i am just getting regular sick. All that said, it still has not been bad for me. I’ll chime in again if things take a turn for the worse.

Author: lack of armour

Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 11:14 pm

Sorry you are having such a hard time with this. I can’t speak to most of your symptoms. But i can relate to the crying. I have been off subs for 6 days now and am weeping rivers of tears. Same deal. Watching bad dramas on television and weeping. Have to say it feels great. I have not cried in ages. And to me, this is a good sign that your brain is realigning itself in a good way. I hope you get some relief with your other ailments and that things are getting easier. Hang in there.

Author: molly_4

Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 12:28 am

Hi! whats up?