Author: Martiser
Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:33 pm
I have been reading through these forums but I have not come across this so I wanted to ask. I have been on suboxone for about 7 years. I could have come off long ago but my first two tries were bad and I have always been afraid to try again. Suboxone has saved my life, no doubts there. Without it I would never have been able to build a new life and learn to deal with everything. But I am ready now. I thought I could just cut my doses and then jump. I got vitamins, all the stuff suggested to help and then some benadryl and took a week off work.
Took my last dose a week ago and thought I would make it but I finally took 2mg this morning. I flushed all but 4 pills and I put them 45 miles away so I would not easily be able to get them. My head just felt like it would explode. You probably have heard it all many times. I wanted to cry and still do after making it 7 days. Yesterday I was okay, not great but I felt like I made it and could deal but then the no sleep, no eating for days, it just all broke me down. I am really usually able to deal with anxiety but I just lost it this morning and by 1pm I decided to go get my emergency pills and find another way. I didn’t have a plan b because I was so sure I could do this. I did no taper, the last week I just cut my dose, I was on 1 & 1/2 (8mg) per day, the last week I took 8 on Monday, then 4 for the rest of the week. I can deal with wd’s I just need to be able to function.
I want to try tapering. What dose should I start at after making it 7 days? Should I try the lowest possible or do I start over? I am so ready to be free of all of it. I am not sure if my Doctor will prescribe anything else. I see 2 for the subs ( same office), one of them could care less he only prescribes it, I only see him for my script and it is done in 3 minutes. Lack of Docs when I got here limited me to him but my therapist is awesome. I see him on Monday and I will ask but they know very little about subs.
My wd’s took about 4 days before they even began. I probably could have made it but like an idiot I kept reading other peoples stories about never ending wd’s and I just panicked. I am so mad at myself. I can take the wd’s, even not sleeping, it was just feeling like it would never end that drove me back. If my sub doctor will not prescribe clonodine can I ask a regular doc? I think that would have been helpful to have had. I am not positive but pretty sure the doc that does my scripts will not help with any other meds, I asked him last year about advice for quiting smoking and he told me he can’t help with it. I was not looking for meds but that was how he took it so I am pretty sure he will not help here but I will try on Monday.
I have a strange situation with my docs, my therapist dislikes the main doc and has told me not to tell him certain things, example I asked him about a certain treatment in other countries and he thought it best not to mention it to the main doc. So I am always afraid to ask about stopping. I moved for my job in 2009 so before that I had a really great doctor who I could say anything to. Now I have one that I suspect hates doing this but the money is just too great, and the other who is great and I can say anything to him but has limited power, at least I think. It just makes is all that much harder and one of the reasons I just want to be done. Then I can just see my therapist. I know I sound like I am bashing, and I am but it is the truth. I have called and found other doctors but at this point I just want to be off. I do not have allot of extra money and even with insurance this is costing me allot, it is time for me to get off for good. I am a single Mom and I want that money to go towards my family, very badly, but that is just one of many factors. Seven years is just too long to be doing this. Any help would be greatly appreciated. And I will keep reading. My Thanks to everyone who has shared information. I wish I had found this forum sooner.
