Author: funnyfarm37

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 12:14 pm

I am a 37 year old female new here. This started out with a minor fall from a horse a year ago. I severely injured my neck and re injured an old pelvic fracture. I had surgery on my neck in November That unfortunately does not seem to have been completely successful. I have never not work a day in my life and here I am almost 1 year without working. After I had the next surgery I had already been on percoset at 210 milligram tablets 3 * a day. This is a lot for me as in the past when I had migraines or pain syrup I would only take 1 or 2 regular strength vicodin . I do have to admit that I have dabbled and abused drug in my opinion off and on throughout the years. Abuse to me means that I would get a prescription for 30 every 6 months and blow through them with in 10 Days. However when I was out I will never went looking for more. When I started working as an emergency room nurse about 3 years ago I did start drinking more and more. I drink everyday 1 to 2 Drinks sometimes up to 5 when I was not working. After my surgery I decided I did not need the percocet. Anymore and taper down quickly and just quit. I went into a panic attack which I have never had. My family brought me to the emergency room Who gave me more percoset and said I should not just stop taking it. Knowing now that I was probably in withdrawal I didn’t want it at all. So I talk to my doctor who suggested a rehab facility if that indeed is what I want it. I did not want to end up like all of the patients that I took care of an emergency room. I went to the rehab facility and after day 3 the doctors and nurses did not believe I was really in withdrawal and sent me home. I was so depressed I did not leave my room for Hey week and I was prescribed an anti depressant. At Christmas time I was more of a mess than I was before shaking unable to navigate stairs. No sleep for 4 days straight and unable to eat. And this was 2 weeks after my last percoset. On Christmas I looked as if I was about to die so my family brought me into the ER where I work. On Christmas day with all of my coworkers I was confused unable to identify people and Very dehydrated I had to have an IV in my neck. It ended up that I had serotonin syndrome the whole time. They wanted to keep me but I beg to go home as my children were waiting it was Christmas. I was prescribed a benzo diazo teens and sent home with specific instructions for watching my vitals as a ringtone in syndrome can be fatal. I was referred to a psychiatrist to specializes in This type of thing He said I had to date on the benzo diazo pains but I had to switch over to valium at a high dose and taper down. He Restarted me on a different antidepressant at a very low dose. Since then we have been through several anti depressants with no luck I now have a major depressive disorder and severe anxiety and panic attack. They decided the physicians that I was having a reaction to the pain. I admit I do have severe pain but I was freaked out to treat it. All of the narcotics make me second unable to even get out of bed and God for bed I go through what I went through the first time. My family doctor finally decided he would like to try a low dose of sub you text to see if it helps with my pain and possibly take care of some of the depressive episodes. I grilled him on this medication as I had not heard of it and asked if I would go through withdrawals when I stopped taking it. He said at this logos which is 1 to 2 milligrams a day I would probably not feel a thing When I stop taking it. Now I have been on it for 2 months and find I cannot get out of bed without taking a dose . I am now even more depressed because I feel like a junkie….Especially when I go get the prescription filled. It has improved my depression but only when I take it I wake up every morning with a headache and severely depressed. My pain has come down a couple of notches but is not completely controlled and I have no illusions that it ever will b. Also the value my have been on since December and I got down to 4 milligrams and had a severe panic attack and my doctor Said I could not take less than 10 milligrams a night. I kept pleading with him to taper down on that medication. Because I become so it pressed and stuck in my room and unable to eat when trying to taper off either this a box own or the value I have been told that I am not allowed to mess with any of them. I am supposed to not be a nurse and learn to be a patient. I am at my breaking point as it has been 1 year Since I have work and nursing with my life. My pain is bad I cannot do any form of work at this time and my position will not release me to perform any work. My psychiatrist says that I am mentally unstable and unable to perform any work. This is awful for me as I was an emergency room nurse I was the call most and coolest nurse on staff. I worked in a level 2 trauma center. I really don’t want to be stuck on these medications but I find when I try to quit the sub box own I go nuts. I know it is a very low dose too low or is there something wrong with me I do not go a day without breaking down in tears. but I swear I am severely affected by it when I tried to skip a dose or taper off. Last time I was suicidal and I was only taking .5 a day. I think this is why they will not let me go down on the value. To make matters worse I am completely aware that being on a benzo for this long Is going to be nothing but trouble when I taper. Is My suboxone. dose Not correct.