Author: tearj3rker

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 6:27 am

Does PAWS relate to just the symptoms we experience from the brain normalising, or also the symptoms of getting over the stuff we experienced in addiction?

I’m not doubting the existence of PAWS in any way. I spent 6 months in a rehab with another 30+ very sick recovering addicts, and it was a circus. At the end of the 6 months we almost felt able to pick the different PAWS symptoms for different drugs. The crystal meth fiends were always really impulsive, had jagged movements, quick to anger that took months to get manageable. Us heroin folk were moody, anxious, poor memories with really insidious cravings. Alcoholics seemed the most "damaged" upstairs, strangely. Everyone was in weird shape. One of the really important symptoms I think of PAWS is that there was always a lack of insight into how crazy we really were, especially in the first few months. It wasn’t until I was 9-12 months clean that I realised how insane I really was.

But it’s so hard to tell what is a symptom of the drugs, and what is the natural result of experiencing the things we put ourselves through. One of those symptoms in the PAWS list was "Feelings of guilt". It would have been extremely abnormal for me to have no guilty feelings after a relapse.

My personal choice in my early recovery would be to try and forget I have PAWS, but rather remind myself that I’m still "finding my feet". Given I already have bipolar disorder, and so many of its symptoms overlap with PAWS, I really don’t want something else to pathologize my life with. I just wanna enjoy the insanity of early recovery. I have some really fond memories of my poor ‘impulse control’ in early recovery. But that is my personal choice.

Doc, given we that we do eventually recover from PAWS, do you think we should use medication to relieve its symptoms?