Author: qhorsegal

Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:19 pm

Hi everyone…

I am still kind of thinking about this, but it is a really good question. I really believe as you all said before me, that I wouldn’t be who I am today without going through what I went through. I want to believe that God will use this part of my life to help someone else eventually. I might never know, but I pray He lets me see it when it all comes together. If you think about it, everything we went through has to effect SOMEONE. Even if it is only our family or close friends…it doesn’t have to be a large scale program or ministry or rehab center. Just to know that what I did will keep my kids from picking up a pill or God forbid a needle. That is enough for me. In fact…that is exactly what I want. When the time is right and they are old enough to understand I will tell them exactly what I did and how bad it hurt me and everyone around me. And hopefully it will keep them away from using like I did. I am so scared that they will be addicts like me…I won’t give them any medicine with anything addictive at all in it unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary. Maybe this is extreme, but I don’t think so. I remember my first darvocet when I was about 13 years old. My mom gave it to me for a bad case of cramps, bad decision. That was the first time I ever felt that nice little opiate buzz and thought, "this is nice." I bugged my mom every chance I got to give me another one for whatever reason I could come up with. Then as a teenager I got shingles…percocet was my friend for a couple months. I was not an addict yet, but remember well those first experiences with pain pills and I don’t want my kids to have access to feeling that if I can help it.

I guess that is my answer. I know that all of us who are parents can relate to feeling this way. If I had to go through this just to give a tangible example to my kids then it was all worth it. I would do it again and again and again if it meant keeping them away from dealing with this pain.