Author: amber4.14.11

Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 11:56 pm

mizzme wrote:

Amber- It’s really weird that you said what you did about maybe having an underlying issue. I honestly have been thinking lately that I do have something going on….I just don’t know what. I’ve always been around people who don’t take mental issues seriously, they think it’s something made up. So I haven’t went to anybody to talk to and see if maybe I have some other issues that need dealt with. I have however done quite a bit of research online and from all the symptoms listed it would seem that I may have OCD and possibly ADHD. For example, at night (this is going to sound weird) when I lay down, I fidget and fidget and fidget until everything "feels" right. Like the sheet underneath me can’t be wrinkled, and even if it’s not, if I feel it is I keep adjusting until it feels right. Same with my clothes. I do obsess about things and have high anxiety. I have a weird addiction to chapstick….when I get nervous I have to put it on. I ALWAYS have my chapstick with me, if I realize I don’t I start panicking. I know it sounds stupid and weird….but in my mind chapstick is a very serious thing lol. Once I put it on I instantly feel better. Sometimes I have to put it on numerous times before that happens….but whatever. Just typing this out makes me feel like such a damn weirdo. My point is….I need to make an appointment with a mental health specialist. Another thing….during my addiction I got my hands on Adderal (sp?) a few times. When I took it I felt normal. Not high or had super energy like some people say. Just normal. My thoughts would be clearer and not all over the place. And my thoughts slowed down. That’s another thing. I can’t stop thinking all the time. Think think think. That’s all I do. Its like I’m constantly trying to figure something out….I just don’t know what. I’m going to print this out and take it with me when I make an appointment lol. This is the first I’ve been able to explain it and it sound even relatively close to what I actually feel. Any other time when I’ve tried to explain it….I can’t. I feel like once I get in to talk to someone I’m going to sit there and not know what to say or how to explain how I feel. I know this is prob. all over the place and I apologize. As far as running out early and how I’m doing with that…not good at all. I’m down to 3 strips and I am going to break down and call the doctor tomorrow. I just don’t know what I’m going to say yet But the lesson is def. learned! No denying that! After my next appointment I am giving my strips to my husband so he can give me what I’m suppose to take every day and no more than that. I think I’m going to get a safe too and give him the key because I prob. would break him down enough to give me an extra here and there if I get weak. As much as I know that I won’t put myself thru this again, and how stupid it is to begin with because taking more is pointless…..I don’t trust myself just yet. All I know is that I have a LOT of self-examining to do. And a lot of work to do still. Thanks for reading my rambling.

here’s a REALLY GREAT place to start with, for reading about ADHD or ADD….

http://www.addforums.com/forums/index.php
read under "adults with add/adhd" then go to "diagnosis & treatment" on the top of that sub-forum, is a bunch of sticky posts, with links on common symptoms, and "practices" LOL….

here’s a good resource/definition of OCD…..
http://www.ocfoundation.org/whatisocd.aspx

I hope you DO get this figured out sooner rather than later…
goodnight