I’m a dumb asshole….I’ve got to stop….

Author: tearj3rker

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:51 pm

You’re no more of an idiot than any of us were when we were still using. To me, all you’ve lost in doing what you’re doing with Sub is an opportunity to use it as a stepping stone out of addiction, and you’ve perhaps delayed your recovery by a year or so. But I guess when a person isn’t ready they’re not really ready.

The number one thing to do now is to learn from your mistakes. Seriously, if you can’t stop shooting buprenorphine, what makes you think you’ll be able to take an agonist like heroin or Oxy orally when you know that injecting it (unlike bupe) will get you really stoned? Do you really think you’ll be able to control that temptation? Just feeling that effect again will be a HUGE step backwards for your recovery. And the fact that you’re doing it knowing you will continue to do it, but somehow you expect you will conjur up the willpower to be able to control it and even reduce it … are you being realistic, really?

If I were you I’d work in reverse. The first thing you gotta do is lose the love for "the steel". The fortunate thing about injecting Sub as you have been doing is that your tolerance is still capped at buprenorphine’s ceiling. Switching back to high dose sublingual use may be difficult, but the difficulty will be only psychological. If you can I’d suggest switching to high dose sublingual twice daily, taking it when you would normally inject it. From there try to reduce to one large dose in the morning… If you can stabilise on sublingual dosing, then you’re pretty much in the same situation as everyone else here, and you can follow the tapering advice and post as we all do here, and get involved with our community.