Author: jonathanm1978

Posted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 9:01 am

We are addicts. First and foremost. Let me make that point, before I go any further….

I was the first person in this area to get into Suboxone treatment..and of course, I told others of MY success. This led other people to question it, and even try it.

Now..forward 5 years…and I’ve been through it with people. "Friends" that I know that I told of Suboxone treatment who went and got on it for themselves…
Even gone as far as letting a close friend get one or two here and there…which is absolutely wrong, but we all know what those withdrawals are, and nobody wants to wish that misery on their enemy…and obviously not a friend either.
A friend that I’ve had for years…an older lady who used to be BAD into pills..ultrams, lortabs…etc…she went and got on Suboxone. Even went to the same doctor as I was going to until last month, when I had to switch doctors…

This friend has a daughter that has fuckin gone off the deep end in drug abuse. Lost her kids, thanks to the state DHR…and for SOME stupid reason, this friend let her daughter+boyfriend move into the same house. Not supposed to be with the kids, since they were taken away from them for being lousy parents, but she let her daughter move in anyway.

Let me be absolute in this part. I DONT take too much of my medicine. Average day, I take 2. prescribed 3/day. I try to stay "AHEAD" so if I do have to miss my dr appt, I’m not struggling.
This "friend" let her daughter take her meds. Handed them over…month after month…and when her daughter lied, saying "i’ll pay you back" and then the lies came to fruition….and it was time to be paid back and the daughter didn’t come through…guess who got a phone call…..???
Yep…me.
As the subject of this says…I knew better.
Every month for the past few months, I’ve had to be torn between being a friend, and doing what I know is right and legal…and letting someone "borrow" my meds until they went to the doctor.
Every month..she was getting further and further into her NEXT prescription..and refused to stop giving them to her daughter.
Here’s a kicker…she was on Subutex. I’m on Suboxone.
I got so far behind that I had to change doctors, because I was only getting 75/month and supplying this friend…and wound up coming up short last month..so I had to change to a doctor that I knew would give me 90/month instead. I had been with my doctor for FOUR YEARS…didn’t want to change, and I was happy at 75/month. I don’t care for the "more is more" mindset. Didn’t want to get more…
But I did this to myself.
Last month, this friend called me a little over ONE WEEK after her doctor appt. She had JUST got her 90 the week before (90 subutex)…
And she was calling me because she was ALREADY out. Keep in mind, I had to go to a different doctor…and I had gotten 90 about the same time she called.
So I lied…told her I had to change doctors, and since my doctor had knocked me down to 56/month, my insurance wouldn’t pay for my new script yet that I got from the new doctor. I would have to wait…couldn’t get any filled.
That saved me..for a while.
Then, she waited about a week, until the date I told her that I was getting them…which was 4 days before her dr appt again…
And my phone rang again…
"I’m going to the doctor in 4 days, and I want to make sure they are in my system. If you can loan me 10 that would be great…"
So I decided it was time to let her in on a little secret. "Hey, you DO know that the doctor can tell if you’re taking Suboxone, or subutex, right?"
She didn’t believe me. I heard the usual "he’s never said anything before…"…etc
She didn’t disclose that it had been a year since she had a drug test..and she thought she was going to just get away with that forever I guess….
I finally said "fuck it"…and to get her to leave me alone, I agreed to give her 10. Promising I would be paid back, granted with subutex, exactly 4 days later.
This was going to leave me short…but hey..she said she would pay me back.
Day of the doctor appt comes and goes…and I hear NOTHING.
I don’t say anything…the next morning I sent a message…"you said you were coming here when you left the pharmacy….what happened?"
Finally…I got the answer. In story-form.

"I went into the doctors office, and they had me taking a test…so when I was it was going to be sent to a lab, I told him what I had done. I told him that I took 4 suboxone..and he turned into Dr Jeckyll…went ballistic..and got really mean with me….but I told him that he had me on Suboxone in the past, and I had some left..he said that didn’t matter…"

She went in and started blabbing her damn gums and wasn’t even a issue..because she could’ve gotten a month’s more of medicine, since she OWED someone..instead of going in and suddenly finding GOD because she had to take a drug test…but no…
She tells her whole damn story just because she had to piss in a cup. He wouldn’t have known, if she had kept her mouth shut..for at LEAST another month. IF he would’ve said anything then is questionable…but she won’t be finding that out…because he sent her home with NONE. So did I get paid back what I was owed? No…
I get this story about "he’s got me coming back in two weeks, and maybe he’ll put me back on them when I go back."
I finally lost it. I told her.."you know what..when you go back, I’ll be in Dauphin Island…and I’ll already have been back for MY OWN appointment two days before we leave…so just fucking forget it. Don’t even worry about paying me back, I don’t care. I told you, for MONTHS to quit feeding your damn daughter the meds ..and you didn’t. You kept handing them over to her, when she wasn’t even prescribed suboxone. Only reason you give them to her was because she would go to this same doctor for fibromyalgia..and come home with 90 lortab 10s…and 120 roxycodone…and the damn girl was banging every pill she got, then buying K8 (dilaudid) on the street and banging them too. Then when she’d run out of her opiate drugs…she would curse and raise hell with her mom until momma gives in and feeds her subutex..
I hope the daughter appreciates me enabling her like I did. I never gave the daughter anything, but because the mom was coming to me for my meds….she knew she could give her daughter whatever the fuck and just get me to "LOAN" her enough.

I’ve SO had it with people who don’t take their shit seriously. I told this woman two months ago that I was fixing to get serious with my treatment again, and stop letting people borrow shit from me..and now it’s time to do just that.
I don’t run out, I don’t take too much…I treat my suboxone as it should be treated…a medicine meant to aid in my recovery. How the hell can I be recovering when I am feeding other addicts who don’t care to take their shit seriously and actually want to do it right ….
I’m fed up. This isn’t a true friend…and damn sure isn’t someone who’s going to help me stay on the path I need to stay on. If a person doesn’t have the willpower to tell their child "NO"…when they KNOW their child is abusing drugs to that extent..then I damn sure don’t need that person around me.

This is my rant…I had to post it here in Freestyle because this goes outside the realm of suboxone being taken as it should…
I know, sharing meds and all that goes along with that…and I’ve said before that I wouldn’t do it anymore, but this post will be here for me to come back and see the trouble I’ve had ..so maybe it’ll help me keep that focus and not lose track and give into "poor friend who is so pitiful"….
Their so pitiful because THEY aren’t doing what they should be doing..if they WERE..they wouldn’t be running out of their own shit way too early to begin with. So from here on…I’m finished with this type of friend. People don’t care to be responsible for their own shit, I’m not bailing anyone out because of such behavior. I’m not a doctor or a pharmacy..and I will be damned if I let someone play on my sympathies again as I’ve done in the past….