For my friends and contacts and doubters and etc.

Posted on by

Author: lack of armour

Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 11:06 pm

Donechasing wrote:
It’s day 22 for me, and the sun is starting shine again, if only occasionally.

I took sub for near 4 months, and just couldn’t stand the emotional and physical flat tire it
Caused me. Everyone is different, but I will say this, the separation, while uncomfortable, was way
Easier than stopping oxy. For those who don’t know me, I had a five year oxy habit, 180 mg daily, that spun
Out of control a year ago and landed me in legal trouble over a forge script.
I took avg 12 mg sub for the last four months to kick the oxy.

Now, I am not suggesting life is perfect by any means, but I can think, do basic physical
Demands, and actually feel laughter and sadness again, something that bupe blocked out
Altogether with a slight energy boost.

I have researched every thread by webmd to steadyhealth and all info on this sight, and must
Reinforce that for me, I could never have reorganized my life on the drug. I was in a suspended
Animation state of living with no senses. I equate or liken my sub time as locking life down, almost like
The valley of oxy detox right when life stops hurting but doesn’t feel good either. I had no self esteem, no
Vision, no priority schedule. It was worse for me on the memory issue than full agonist, and no vigor whatsoever.

Actually, sometimes, no many times, an hour or so after dosing with sub I would get confused , depressed, and
Socially withdrawn. I believe (just my opinion), this drug is more penal to the body than full opioid agonist. I never
Felt ‘good’ on sub.

Physically I never had diahrea, or GI troubles at all. My worst symptom was no motivation, motor skill (accident prone) issues,
And lackluster appetite, occasional headaches.

Now, to sum it up, at day 22, I don’t have the slightest sub craving. I do still carry craving for oxy, but only that initial rush and energy,
Not the daily mental and emotional jail it had me in, always feeling guilty that I couldn’t breathe or do anything without a pill.

Partial agonist is something I’ll stay away from. I once had a dealer in Vegas tell me ‘if I’m gonna do drugs, I’m gonna do GOOD drugs.
Well put.

Now if I can just give up cigarettes …… One step at a time.

Donechasing: I can relate to every precise side-effect you listed. I had all of those things (lethargy/social anxiety/memory loss/foggy head/clumsiness). Also had severe unrecognizable depression that came about a year in to my 2 year stint on suboxone. For sure, everyone reacts differently to this medication, but it is reassuring to find common ground with lots of people on here about what they went through. I didn’t read this forum or research the side effects until a few weeks ago, and spent 2 years slowly going crazy. Always questioning if it was the medication or just my broken head. Am now 8 days off these meds and feeling so much better for it.