Author: stephent

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 4:39 pm

When I first got on Suboxone, I started feeling emotions I hadn’t felt in a long time if ever.. (started using so young). Over time though, I started to flatten out again and has lost lots of my motivation. I have been in a slow taper for the last 10 months, so that might have something to do with it. This is a hell of a lot more preferable than the the depression you get on a taper or CT from long term opiate WD.

So did it give me my emotions back? I would say yes. Plus its great to not feel constant anxiety and depression right all the time and that was what I felt when using. Its amazing, but my recent therapist told me that I didn’t meet the qualifications as someone who is depressed, that was just a side effect of my using.

I still have a long way to go, I am looking forward to getting off Sub but am not rushing it. This is all my decision, I could stay on for life if I needed (I don’t and really do not meet that criteria). Some people simply do not produce enough endorphins naturally and need something like Sub. I do not think I am one of those people, but there is really only one way to be sure and that is to try living without constant drug use.

I have been doing some pretty deep therapy recently, and when I first got clean I doubt I would be able to handle it. I think that Suboxone helped in that it allowed me to feel some things, but I didn’t get that complete over-whelming that many of us know from previous WDs (the ones where you cry from the littlest things on TV). I remember an animated ad for Prozac specifically from one WD really getting to me. I laugh about it now though.