Author: Bettyboop

Posted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 8:48 am

Hello fellow travelers on this Sub Journey!
I am here for my semi annual checkin…lol..
I joined this site I think 2 years ago, can’t figure out how to find my previous posts. Think last time I posted was before my Carpal Tunnel surgery this past December…
Well,I got through the surgery. Had one hand done-pain manageable with lots of drugs. Surgery 2 weeks later not so much…I had a doctor on call who basically told me to "suck it up" when the narcotics weren’t working. Of course I took Subs in between the surgeries because..well.. I was married to the stuff and thought I could not survive without it! I did get through the two surgeries with much angst and shame for not being a "normal person" off this drug!

Fast forward 5 months. I was now taking .75 mgs. of Subs a day. If I didn’t take it in the morning would feel w/d start by that evening. I decided hey-if it’s not broke, don’t fix it right? Except of course if I legitimately had to take a narcotic for pain and did not have time to stop for a few days beforehand (ie; sudden situation where you need narcs), I was screwed. Guess what? This happened. What started out as a cold, turned into Pneumonia. Not the "walking" kind. The full out felt like death, in bed, coughing like a Seal Pneumonia. It was the sickest I have ever been. I wasn’t admitted to the hospital, but should have been. The doc gave me the choice to do treatment at home or hospital, I chose home. Slowly but surely I am recovering.

OK, now comes the Suboxone part:
My last dose of Suboxone was May 4th. 31 days ago. I wanted to be able to take the Hydrocodone cough syrup so I could stop coughing up my lungs..the first 11 days were hell..I was sick from Pneumonia, withdrawing from Subs (don’t think the cough medicine could override the Subs yet) and the cough medicine couldn’t do it’s job. I swore on the 11th day if I felt this hellacious the next day I would call my Sub doc and beg for his help..I woke up day 12 and the w/d’s were gone. The cough medicine started doing it’s job. Now I only had the Pneumonia bit to deal with..not an easy task but no more w/d for the time being.

I was on Tussionex for 10 days, then asked the doc to switch to Hydocan (less potent of the 2). I knew I was in for round 2 of some kind of withdrawal from the Hydro after being on it almost a month..I kept taking the syrup way past the cough part just to hold off withdrawals. I saw my Sub doc this past Friday and we came up with a plan. That was the last dose of cough syrup I had. This is Day 4 of no Narcotics in my system. I would like to say its been a breeze but it hasn’t. Still can’t sleep (been an issue past month), have the w/d jitters, I can’t remember s%#t, sneezing, runny nose, skin crawling at times and feel in general fragile. It is definitely no where near as bad as those first 12 days off Subs but can still feel it. The doc gave me 3 days of Ativan and Gabapentin. I’ve been weaning down for the past 3 days, off of it today..trying to stay busy which is difficult since recovery from the Pneumonia keeps me from running or doing to much activity wise. Yoga is my friend..B-Complex, high Mineral supplement, Lecithin, L-Tyrosine and essential Oils are also part of my repertoire. Some of these supplements I have gotten the ideas from the "Thomas Recipe" online. Some my doctor has suggested. I am drinking "Damiana" Tea and taking Kava drops as needed. I haven’t had the runs so very little Lomotil needed. I have muscle relaxers for the leg cramps/kicking. I really haven’t had "the kicks" before last night, muscle relaxers didn’t work so I took a Clonidine, which I had a bottle of, but hadn’t taken. I slept like a baby for 7 hours. I am not one to pray much but have been on my knees for this one. I need all the help I can get! I have a very supportive husband who is I think tired of seeing me sick but understands this is a good kind of sick as opposed to the "bad kind" (Pneumonia). It has an end!

I know this is long, I just wanted to give others hope. I have been a slave to Suboxone for 2years, 9 months. I felt desperate if I ran out of Subs and terrified I would lose them. No more being conscious that if I do not take this little orange pill, I will be sick. I was sick of the shame having to tell yet one more doctor I was on the stuff and feeling judged..Sick of not being in control of my life…I am free.

So 31 days Suboxone free.
4 days Opiate free.

Subs are no longer my Master and are gone out of my house!!
Peace to all today..
.