Author: fishguy

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:34 am

I am one of those people who have not been fortunate enough to have a good experience with suboxone. While I agree (and am grateful) that it is better than the drug I gave up, I am in my 25th month of hell. The anxiety and depression are ruining my life, my marriage, my relationships with my daughters and my work. Most days I am nothing short of paralyzed by anxiety and sit on the floor in my bedroom in front of the TV because I can’t bear silence. I need the TV on but prefer to be alone. Within 30 minutes of taking my sub dose I want to curl up and die. I frequently sleep right there on the floor with blankets over my head and fall sleep to fantasies of suicide. I started at 24 mgs and got down to 6mg a day but was actually taking only 2mg in the morning and 1 or 2 mgs late afternoon but the doc convinced me that I would end the depression if I increased my dose so I went back to 8mgs. I actually had a good week after that but then I was back to feeling like crap. In addition to the emotional stuff the sub just wreaks havoc with my bowels. If I don’t have a BM before I take my suboxone in the morning I won’t be able to until the next morning and then I just feel terrible for the entire day. I know this is getting long but writing about it is somehow therapeutic so thanks for your patience. My day is always the same: wake up full of pain in my knees and hips and feeling terrible, take the sub and sometimes doze off for a bit. I also take Zoloft but it doesn’t stop the anxiety. I force myself into the shower and then struggle for four or five hours with anxiety and depression and worry. Around 2pm I feel a bit better and usually able to work for a couple of hours but around dinner time I am starting to feel uncomfortable again. Sometimes, if I have to do something, I will take a bit more suboxone then and I am able to function for a couple of hours but by 8pm I am counting the minutes until I can go to bed. This routine is wearing me down so much and I dread each new day. What a mess!!

Author: fishguy

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:34 am

I am one of those people who have not been fortunate enough to have a good experience with suboxone. While I agree (and am grateful) that it is better than the drug I gave up, I am in my 25th month of hell. The anxiety and depression are ruining my life, my marriage, my relationships with my daughters and my work. Most days I am nothing short of paralyzed by anxiety and sit on the floor in my bedroom in front of the TV because I can’t bear silence. I need the TV on but prefer to be alone. Within 30 minutes of taking my sub dose I want to curl up and die. I frequently sleep right there on the floor with blankets over my head and fall sleep to fantasies of suicide. I started at 24 mgs and got down to 6mg a day but was actually taking only 2mg in the morning and 1 or 2 mgs late afternoon but the doc convinced me that I would end the depression if I increased my dose so I went back to 8mgs. I actually had a good week after that but then I was back to feeling like crap. In addition to the emotional stuff the sub just wreaks havoc with my bowels. If I don’t have a BM before I take my suboxone in the morning I won’t be able to until the next morning and then I just feel terrible for the entire day. I know this is getting long but writing about it is somehow therapeutic so thanks for your patience. My day is always the same: wake up full of pain in my knees and hips and feeling terrible, take the sub and sometimes doze off for a bit. I also take Zoloft but it doesn’t stop the anxiety. I force myself into the shower and then struggle for four or five hours with anxiety and depression and worry. Around 2pm I feel a bit better and usually able to work for a couple of hours but around dinner time I am starting to feel uncomfortable again. Sometimes, if I have to do something, I will take a bit more suboxone then and I am able to function for a couple of hours but by 8pm I am counting the minutes until I can go to bed. This routine is wearing me down so much and I dread each new day. What a mess!!