ANXIETY and SCARED

Author: JayDub

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:18 pm

Hello all, I am new here and I am worried. I battled with addiction for a while and I had some run ins with Suboxone. The first two times I took it, I did not take it long before it gave me severe headaches and stuff, so I quit cold turkey twice.

Of course, over time, I relapsed. After getting back into pain medication I decided to take Suboxone again. I have not gone to a doctor, I just get them illegally. I know this is probably frowned upon, but I need help. I always knew that Suboxone was strong so I started taking 1mg twice a day instead of taking it when I felt a craving like when I was younger (stupid I know). So I though doing it right this time would help me quit all together and not have to worry about wasting my life and money on pills.

Well, it did work for a very long time. It worked for about 7 months now. Until I started to get panic attacks at work. Everyone has a reason as to why they get panic attacks, mine is afraid of severe illness, disease or heart attacks and stuff. I usually could control it, but sometime I feel as if the Suboxone makes the rush come without notice and it gets me thinking there is something wrong with me. I was getting twitches in my finger and all over my body, which I thought was normal with Suboxone but it started to scare me. I went to the doctor and he said since I have no clinical weakness or muscle deterioration it is benign. I got blood work back and it was all normal.

But still, I do not feel right. Because of the depression and anxiety ridden state I was in, I did not go to work for 2 weeks to try and get better. This has happened before, but I always quit Suboxone or pain killers and this anxiety/depression feeling went away. Well, this time I did not quit the Suboxone. Being so depressed I cannot imagine quitting right now as the depression from quitting Suboxone would drain me so much and I am scared.

I want to start weaning off the Suboxone but when I look things up online all I hear is people state how Suboxone w/d is like heroin and it is the worst thing ever. I am assuming they are on a lot higher dose than I am but still, it is scary. This is the longest I have been on Suboxone and I want to get off. My girlfriend did Suboxone for a few months and never felt one w/d. She eventually forgot to take the Suboxone and never looked back. Why do I have such adverse effects?

Is the twitching normal with Suboxone?

Can I wean off painlessly if I am taking 1.5mg – 2.0mg a day?

What can I do to help the anxiety and depression I feel suddenly?

Please help me! Sad