Author: thecityman

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 2:32 am

Hey there! Listen, I’ve read your posts since the beginning, and its been both interesting and informative to watch (well, read) your evolution over time. What makes it more interesting to me, has been seeing the absolute sense of enthusiam you had when you started ‘done and which (perhaps to a lesser degree) you seem to still have. The reason I find that interesting is that it really takes me back….I will always remember those first days, weeks, and even months that I was just absolutely thrilled with the success of methadone. Like you, I was positively giddy! I had found the miracle of all miracles. It dramatically ended my chronic back pain, didn’t leave me stoned out of my mind nor feeling like I needed more opiates to feed my addiction. In short, everything seemed perfect!!! THose feelings, for me, actually lasted about 2.5- 3 years, so a little more than you’ve been on ‘done so far. But then I was VERY SLOWLY starting to face up to some facts I didn’t like. For one, I would occassionally skip a take home dose so I could double up some other day and get a buzz…in other words I was still "abusing", albeit to a 99% lesser degree than before. ANd of course there were minor side effects (all drugs have some). Constant constipation, lowered sex drive and ability, some drowsiness and sleep pattern interuptions, etc. But by far the one thing (FOR ME) that I started noticing and not liking was that it just seemed to lower my general motivation. SImply put, I seemed to get a bit lazy. I found myself just sitting and watching tv more and more (remember, I’m talking about 2.5-3 years after I started methadone. Before that I had seen myself become MORE ACTIVE- much as you said you have been). At the 2.5-3 year mark all of these "bad things" were NO WHERE NEAR bad enough to offset all the POSTIVE things methadone had done and was doing for me. (pain management, removed opiate cravings, increased activity/social interactions, in short-just made me "NORMAL" for first time in many years. However, as the months and years went on, the negative aspects of methadone seemed to increase and the positives seemed to decrease. Most noticibly, I found my general motivation/productivity continuing to decline. Other side effects also seemed to get a little worse (sex drive decrease, temptations to monkey around with my take-homes in order to get high every few days and be in mild w/d the other days, and so on. Right about now you are thinking "oh boy, here we go, another anti-methadone person who is going to tell me how methadone is the devil and a big lie and how bupe is the only way and so on. NOT TRUE….In fact, I’ve been on methadone for 13 years in February, so obviously the "negatives" STILL haven’t gotten bad enough to force me to take action. However, I will admit that the whole reason I found and joined this site a couple years or so ago was I was considering trying bupe…..a few years later, I’m still considering it. SO obviously I’m not extremely motivated to get off ‘done and I CERTAINLY still acknowledge that it saved my life and makes my life 1000 times better than it would be without it. I can absolutely accept all the other side effects I’ve mentioned, with the posible exception of the decreased motivation/productivity. I still find myself, in general, to just lack motivation/drive/productivity more and more each month. As for the purpose of this post, it is 2 fold. One, I’m curious if, at the stage/length of time you’ve been on methadone to this point, have you experienced any of the decreased motivation/productivity that I’m talking about? Two, I did just want to offer you a little "warning" (perhaps "notice" would be a better word since my purpose here is not to "warn" you of some impending doom that I feel certain will MAKE you want off methadone. I just wanted to mention that I’ve had this growing problem with it and that in spite of the incredible simularities in our first 2-3 years experience with "done, mine turned out a little disappointing in the end and I just wonder if you think yours is headed that way or are as thrilled as ever with no negative issues what so ever? Just curious. Meanwhile, I sincerely do wish you all the best and deeply hope your positive experiences continue. AS I said, I am NOT here to preach to you about the evils of methadone or why you just HAVE to stop it or move to Bupe. I haven’t after 13 years. But I do have some complaints and the declining motivation/drive/productivity one is getting more significant every month. SO I wondered if you or anyone else has had similar experiences after the first 2-3 years? If not, all the best and I hope your success continues forever. BUt I’d sure enjoy hearing from you or others with similar experiences as mine and what, if anything, they did about them.
BTW, I’m a 42 yr old male and have been on 130 mg for last 5 years.