Author: TeeJay

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 4:26 am

This is a pretty serious topic and some people might even find it controversial, or unnerving. But it’s been on my mind a bit lately. Actually, it’s been niggling in the back of my head ever since I learned that bipolar is a largely genetic illness. At one stage I even gave up the idea of having kids completely. This wasn’t the only reason, as I had a partner at the time who didn’t want to have children anyway.

I just gotta make it clear that if a bipolar person has kids, it’s far from guaranteed the child will have bipolar. The chances are only a few percent if the "other half" has a family tree without any mental health issues. Where the problems can get serious is when both sides have mental illness in their family trees.

My present girlfriend wants to be a Mum one day. And she’d make a really great mum I have no doubt. We love each other and everything’s pretty good. But she has some close relatives who have struggled with depression related illnesses. This is an Asian family though so they don’t exactly like to talk about it or seek help, so as far as I know only the cousin has been diagnosed. She has a sister who has a chaotic lifestyle and who has had some really bizarre behaviours surface from time to time, and who is known to walk out of her job and become a hermit for weeks on end, not answering her phone or talking to anyone. Also, her late father was killed while in his mid-20’s. That’s all I know. Whether it was crime related, wrong place / wrong time or self-inflicted I don’t know. But they don’t talk about it. Buddhists, like other religions, believe killing one’s self is a sin … so if that’s what happened I doubt anyone would talk about it.

Do you think it’s selfish for people with mental health issues to have kids even if they’re treated and capable of raising kids and making a good house?