Author: Derailjr
Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 4:53 pm
This place gets better every time I look in another topic!
I have embarrassed myself enough on this site but I too know no one here personally, so here goes. For the 4 years I was on the rx opiates and then the subox, my drive continually lessened. Before I started on the pain meds, the wife and I were rather active in this department, at least 4 or 5 times a week. Even multiples in any one night for both of us was not uncommon. By the time I quit the subox about a month ago, I was lucky to even see my favorite playtoy as it had retreated back to a size that was preteen for sure. Scary thing to see in the mirror! Felt like I had been robbed! Hey, who stole my dick!? Just over the last couple of days, I have started having much more vivid self thought. Reading tearjerker’s post had me sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the good stuff. Took a second to realize that this was not penthouse forum. Buxom this and tight that, I am seeing those same words on every pair of breasts I see right now! Unfortunately, that sensitivity is the topic here, I am barely getting the gun cocked before the hair trigger fires. I have been with the same woman for 22+ years and she has always turned me on, but this shit is ridiculous! Thank god she is 100% supportive cuz it could put a serious hurtin on a dudes ego. Even in personal playtime, it’s like my brain is on overdrive. Mind movies are so much more erotic, and I can’t hold out. Sure it’s fun to feel like that 15 year old kid getting his first taste of the good stuff, but I am hoping that like every other symptom I am experiencing, this too shall pass.
Since starting the subox, I had even lost all desire for personal playtime of any sort. The last 2 days it has rushed back at an alarming rate. Bet I’ve choked it out at least 12 times already and gotta hell of a movie going on about what my woman is in for tonight. Even tried to score a hummer while driving her to work this morning. She wasn’t buying, but I hadn’t even thought about that in so long that it was comforting to know that these desires are returning. Too bad for her, that all my lead up will surely mean that she will be left short. I ain’t too proud to break out some help! Just hope this will dissipate the further I get away from the opiates.
Whether it was my blindness at the point of getting on subox or not, I don’t remember doc telling me about that side effect either. I am so thankful for subox as it got me here, but these side effects are the ones that made me want to get back to "normal". Thanks Dr. J for giving us junkies a place to talk about "all" of the little details during addiction, recovery, and maintenance. I for one can’t wait to get back to not disappointing my woman. I know that there is no set drop dead date for these symptoms, I’m just hoping that some of the sensitivities(crying for good and bad, anxiety, and this topic) start to throttle back a little in the coming weeks. Good luck to all of my fellow addicts. We are in this together thanks to this place! I may not know ya, but you guys rock! No egos, no bs, just the truth…D