Author: SometimeIdiot
Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:34 pm
Hi all,
Music has always been an important part of my life. It can cover the full spectrum of human emotions, and like humans, it has the capacity to inspire and heal, as well as to hurt and do damage. It can be loving, or it can be hateful. Etc. I’ve been putting together playlists of music to help inspire me as I begin my journey of sobriety, to listen to as I work and relax. I’m not a big Sheryl Crow fan, but I’ve found the lyrics to this song to be very relevant to me at this stage in my life.
Music lyrics are so personal. I’ve never found the lyrics of any song to fit perfectly with me, my life situation, mood, etc. That’s why I’ve been writing my own music and lyrics lately. But some songs and lyrics have come really close to capturing how I’m feeling or what I’m experiencing. The lyrics to “I Shall Believe� probably only makes 100% sense to the person who wrote them. It’s obviously a deeply personal song. But when I shift the orientation of the lyrics and think of certain phrases therein as metaphors for my situation, then this song makes perfect sense to me and my current experience.
For me, this song is about the junkie in a person speaking to the “normalâ€� person that junkie once was before being brought down by addiction. It’s a cry for help to one’s former self. It’s a hearfelt appeal from the junkie for self-forgiveness. “Lay your hands over meâ€� and “No one heals me like you and you hold the keyâ€� is a recognition that healing must come from within, that no motivation to change is stronger or more compelling than the desire to change for one’s own sake. “That I only come home … When I’m so all aloneâ€� is an allusion to those all-to-fleeting, brief moments during the depths of addiction when the addict understands what he/she must do to get out of addiction (but of course is too weak, deluded, etc., to actually take proper action). “That not everything is gonna be the way you think it ought to beâ€� is actually one of those rare instances where the junkie’s lucidity actually trumps the insight of the “normalâ€� former person. The junkie is telling his/her old self that not all things can be controlled in life, that he/she must learn to accept such things and not turn to drugs to change them or cope with them. "Open the door and show me your face tonight" is the addict’s expression of hope to see a glimpse of what a better life can be.
Maybe this song will have some meaning and inspiration to you. It’s a very sad song, but it’s also a song of hope – I Shall Believe.
Namaste,
SI
I Shall Believe
Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it’s a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I’m broken in two
And I know you’re on to me
That I only come home
When I’m so all alone
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won’t give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it’s true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again
would I turn away from you
I’m so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won’t give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe.