Have lost the battle after 16 months

Author: Thesphinx

Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:43 am

I do understand why you would say that and I appreciate your thoughts. I can say that I did not choose drugs over them. She packed them up and left me a month after I found out I was losing my sub doctor. I did reduce my sub to try and prolong the w/d and maybe I would find a new doctor. I have called every doctor around and I’m on a waiting list. You got to figure that me and every other person who went to my doctor are all rushing to get a new doc. So I used my last sub about two weeks ago. Went 2 1/2 days with nothing. Then the withdrawal and depression of losing everything that ment something to me all took over. What can I do? I can I sit here and withdrawal while I’m in my darkest times? I wish I could tell you how good of a family we had. Im a great dad and she is a great mom ( and it kills me to say anything positive about her). This all hit me like a ton of bricks. I had no clue this would happen. We got up one day and everything was normal. We went to the park with my family that had just got to town. We were in the car. She just got real quiet for some reason. I looked at her and saw in her eyes something was wrong. Then I said it. You dont love me anymore du you? She said no. We left the park she packed up and left. About a week later she told me there was someone else. I will never know if she cheated on me. And it’s best I don’t as I would probably due something very bad to this other guy for breaking up my family ( and he knew we were together). But anyway. I am fighting. But I can’t find a doc I can’t find sub on the street. And I think I would be a very major risk to myself to withdrawlcand deal with major depressive disorder. I’m waiting on a call back about methadone. The only problem is I would have to get my dose everyday between 7-9 am. And with my job being a manager and the public relying on me to get the store open that is just about impossible to go everyday. I’m hope they will work with me when they see I was a good patient with my other doc and never failed a drug test. I’m fighting as hard as I can. I hate to say shit like this but I struggle to keep my self from breaking down at work and coming home everyday to nothing. I have pleaded with her to try and work this out with me and she refuses. She loves this other dude. I dont know why I keep rambling on. I guess my mind never stops

Have lost the battle after 16 months

Author: Thesphinx

Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:43 am

I do understand why you would say that and I appreciate your thoughts. I can say that I did not choose drugs over them. She packed them up and left me a month after I found out I was losing my sub doctor. I did reduce my sub to try and prolong the w/d and maybe I would find a new doctor. I have called every doctor around and I’m on a waiting list. You got to figure that me and every other person who went to my doctor are all rushing to get a new doc. So I used my last sub about two weeks ago. Went 2 1/2 days with nothing. Then the withdrawal and depression of losing everything that ment something to me all took over. What can I do? I can I sit here and withdrawal while I’m in my darkest times? I wish I could tell you how good of a family we had. Im a great dad and she is a great mom ( and it kills me to say anything positive about her). This all hit me like a ton of bricks. I had no clue this would happen. We got up one day and everything was normal. We went to the park with my family that had just got to town. We were in the car. She just got real quiet for some reason. I looked at her and saw in her eyes something was wrong. Then I said it. You dont love me anymore du you? She said no. We left the park she packed up and left. About a week later she told me there was someone else. I will never know if she cheated on me. And it’s best I don’t as I would probably due something very bad to this other guy for breaking up my family ( and he knew we were together). But anyway. I am fighting. But I can’t find a doc I can’t find sub on the street. And I think I would be a very major risk to myself to withdrawlcand deal with major depressive disorder. I’m waiting on a call back about methadone. The only problem is I would have to get my dose everyday between 7-9 am. And with my job being a manager and the public relying on me to get the store open that is just about impossible to go everyday. I’m hope they will work with me when they see I was a good patient with my other doc and never failed a drug test. I’m fighting as hard as I can. I hate to say shit like this but I struggle to keep my self from breaking down at work and coming home everyday to nothing. I have pleaded with her to try and work this out with me and she refuses. She loves this other dude. I dont know why I keep rambling on. I guess my mind never stops