Author: SoDak
Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:01 pm
Rayanne,
Good for you! Our stories have some similarities as well. I also have a beautiful 3 1/2 yr. old son. I am employed as a social worker, carrying a caseload of adults with developmental disabiliites. My husband and I began using over 7 years ago…using everything under the sun (pain killers).
When I got pregnant, quitting was not an issue. However during that period my husband found a more consistent hook-up, with mass quantities of oxy’s, so shortly after I had my son, it was easy to start again. I was also diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis when pregnant and began receiving a script for Vic’s along with my other meds.
For the last 3 yrs. we have talked about needing to stop, and finally came to the point of HAVING to stop. We spent our entire savings (nearly $50,000) during the last 4 yrs. The WD’s were so bad that I was unable to function at work anymore, and my co-workers started noticing my odd behaviors.
My sister is aware of what’s going on and finally threatened to tell my mom and force me into treatment if I didn’t address it. I started using subs about 10 months ago. We couldn’t afford for my husband and I both to go, so I have been splitting my dose with him. On one hand it’s good because I have been taking less than prescribed from the very beginning, on the other hand it’s been bad b/c we sometimes run out early.
It hasn’t been easy, even since starting the subs. What I do know is I would never forgive myself if my son grew up and later in life realized what our odd behavior was all about, or thought it was ok to use b/c he knew his parents had. My husbnad grew up with parents that were using (both are sober now) but he knows now and can remember the weird things they did and said and now knows what they were doing. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever been up against.
I wish you the best of luck! This forum has helped me realize I’m not alone and I don’t have to feel ashamed.