Author: finallyachance
Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:51 pm
Youngandconfused
Wow I wish at 23 I would have figured out what I was doing or what I was getting myself into. I too was introduced to PK due to illness mine was kidney stones Chronic I would get them about every six months and have to be on PK for months at a time. Today when I get them I get them removed immediately to avoid being on PK for any length of time. If you sat back and read your own post you would see what is called the progression of the disease in it’s earlier stages. Oh we get away with it in the beginning but eventually (and before you even know it) it’s not like being able to go a day or two without….it’s more like within hours of not having a pain pill you will be acute withdrawals. At the end of my using, I had to set my alarm clock so I could wake up in the middle of the night to take something so as I did not wake up in severe withdrawals not able to get to my pain pill bottle. I have laid in my bed waiting for my husband to get to me to get my pocketbook (where my pain pills were) out of the living room because I have woke up too sick to get it myself. And you get to a point that not a pill will work but more like 5 or 6 pills is what works at one time. In fact I could be sick in bed and someone bring me "a pill" (and not to seem ungrateful but) they should not have even wasted their time bringing me that one pill because that ain’t gonna to get it.
I am not bragging her by no means I am qualifying to you what the end is like. One pill is too many for the sober addict and a thousands not enough for the active addict. Well that is the way it gets. While anxiety and depression on days 4 and 5 seem rough to you now well it get’s where anxiety and depression stays with you and just breaking down to take a pill because you want to just get high as you say well that is no longer just because you want to it is because you have to. And more like hour 4 and 5 not day 4 and 5. And the Porn replacement well soon enough the pain pills and porn addiction will be your problem because the pain pills is only a temporary fix when they no longer work like you want them to you more than likely will be even more depressed and uptight with your new found chronic pain pill addiction and you will be using the porn to deal with the ill effects you get from the progression of the pain pill addiction.
I could go on and on about what to expect on this roller coaster you speak about but thank god it is still a roller coaster and not all downhill yet. You still have school which you more than likely will not have if you keep going because your tuition money or grant money etc…will be your expected check to pay back everybody you owe money to and a heap load of pills that won’t last you very long at all. OK OK, I was suppose to shut up about it three sentences ago and I will except to say…. Get help now. Not later but NOW. Stay in therapy and get on ORT (opiate replacement therapy) ASAP.
Some posters may come behind me and say that your habit is relatively small and really it is compared to a lot, but given your admission of your propensity to replace one addiction for another and depression and anxiety etc…I am not so sure just detoxing would be the answer for you right now. Now that’s just my opinion because I relate so much to your post (about thirty years ago). Just would like to be proactive here then to see another 23 year old college student bite the dust. Good Luck and we are here for you no matter what you choose. And the next post I have to you I will be easier on you. lol.