Author: young&confused

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:43 pm

Hi everyone,

I found this site because I am currently struggling with an addiction to painkillers – oxycodone which I take 3 times a week about 15-20 mg per use. This constant use started roughly 6 months ago and I realize that I am becoming more dependent to the painkillers and that my tolerance has gone off. I have tried stopping cold turkey and have gotten to 4-5 days while dealing with withdrawls such as depression and anxiety and though the cravings seem to get managable by the 4th day or so I always just end up taking one regardless just because I like the high and how it relieves my stress. I am 23 and currently work full time and am studying to earn my CPA which has caused a lot of stress over the past 6 months. I have been suffering from alot of anxiety over the past two years with bouts of depression which started as I began to start my transition from college into the real world. On the side I have been also battling a porn addiction which I have now been successfully clean with for 2 months but has also contributed to my use of PKs as a way to get my release and not look at porn. The tradeoff is obviously an unhealthy one, but porn has been consuming my life for years and I was determined to stop that addication even if it meant that I would have to substitute that high from porn with something else short term and pks were a way to do this. I I used to take pks occasionally and then started to use them more often on the weekends as a way to deal with hangovers from drinking the night before. I have had several knee surgeries in the past 4 years which introduced me to painkillers. I am finding that my depression has started to be present more and more as I use the pks and then I go through withdrawals for 2-3 days per use during the work week and then I repeat the cycle again the next week. The first day without taking them is okay but then on the 2nd or 3rd day during the week, I find my anxiety and depression come up very strongly and I go on an emotional roller coaster. I hate the way I feel when I am down and want to get off of this slippery slope before I get in too deep and it ends up causing serious problems. I currently still have some PKs left and have considered trying to taper off, but I don’t know how to appropriately do this and I am concerned that I will just relapse and go by more if I end up feeling depressed or stressed due to work and studying. I have read that Suboxone has helped alot of people quit this addiction and avoid the very miserable withdrawal symptoms that come from trying to stop. I am hoping that people on this forum could help provide me some guidance as how I can successfully quit my opiate addiction. I have started seeing a therapist for my anxiety and depression and talking with them about my problems has helped. However with the dependence I have started to form to the pks, I don’t think that therapy alone will help me stop. I want to get back to the normal me and not be dependent on drugs to make me feel good. I currently take adderall for my ADD and 150mg effexor xr for my anxiety and depression. Could Suboxone be a possible way for me to help quit this addition? Many thanks for the help.