Author: Diary of a Quitter
Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 2:46 pm
Yes, understanding triggers only gets you so far. For me the next step involved making a plan for what to do when I got triggered. And the next steps after that involved changing my life in such a way as to remove as many triggers as possible. Not easy, and I’m not finished, but worth it.
Interestingly, the work I’ve done around triggers has helped me in other areas of my life. It caused me to slow down and examine the cause-and-effect relationships between shit that happens in my life and my behavior. Ultimately what I found is that the thing that triggers the desire to use is an uncomfortable emotion, and also that uncomfortable emotions trigger all sorts of other, crappy, definsive, illogical behavior on my part – from overeating to procrastinating to spending money to picking a fight with my partner to yelling at my kid. I’m sure you get the picture.
Since it’s not really possible to give up being an emotional human being, I’ve had to work on realizing that however uncomfortable, it’s just a FEELING and I can get over it, usually by just breathing or taking a little walk. The trick is becoming aware of the feeling before the reaction happens. So really, that process has become the focus of my recovery at this point. And it’s helped me in every area of my life. I’m more able to let shit go, more able to know what I need and calmly ask for it, more able to not let other people’s crap effect me, I’m calmer with my daughter and more creative in dealing with her emotionality and my relationship with my partner has improved on multiple levels.
The thing to remember is that all of this is a process, a cultivation. It’s not something that you do once and then you’re done. You won’t figure out your triggers and then be cured. And we change and what might be triggering to us changes. But as you practice, you become more skilled at the process and then you go to deeper levels and I truly believe that we can change on a fundamental level, becoming calmer, more compassionate and serene in a way that spreads out through our lives. To me, that feels like real freedom.