Author: drummerguy

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 12:23 pm

MW, Like you I’m in an office job. Five years ago I was put on oxy for herniated discs. It was not long before I was rx’d four 30s per day and kept their for a year. Sometimes id take much more and like you, I ended up on dope after I flunked a urine screen and lost my rx. I turned to a methadone clinic for help. That decision was worse than dope IMO. after 9 months I transitioned to sub and started out at 24 mg. That was almost 3 years ago. Today I’m at 3mg daily. My wife has never gone to a single appointment with me and doesn’t understand that this stuff doesn’t make me high. I’m normal as I can be on it. Quite an accomplishment coming from three bundles per day IV. But it’s not enough for her. She wants me off. Its in her ignorance of course… she has no concept of the sickness… but here I am trying to appease her… something I used to tell my counselor I’m the meth clinic was that the whole reason I ever used Oxy as a crutch in the first place was because of my wife’s horrendous post partum depression after our child was born. By the time i gotr to dope, i was only using to start off sick. I never got high. If i wanted a 30 second rush i had to shoot 10 bags at once. But t was never about that. I was trying to stay off sick so I wouldn’t lose my job. But I ended up losing out anyway because I was more wrecked in methadone than I was on dope. And she still suffers horrendous mood swings that ican take in stride thanks to sub IMO. she wants me off sub. But I think she needs To either understand what my situation is, or she needs a Benzo, or both. She pressures me like hell to get off this stuff, but its just too soon for me. Likewise, I feel like if she actually understood that I am not stoned, that this was like taking a vitamin for a deficiency, that she’d leave it alone. Anyway, I’ve been doing this taper and I posted here because I honestly see myself relapsing just like you, MW, if I jump before my own time. Advice?

Thanks!