Day 1 on Suboxone..Scared need support

Author: WingsOfAnAngel

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 11:51 pm

I am new to this board and this site. I have been addicted to Vicodin for the past 3 years resulting from three major surgeries. I never thought I would be where I am today…addicted, scared, struggling, ashamed and a stranger to my own life. I sit here now trying to figure out how I got here. I have a wonderful husband, who has no idea I am an addict. I am in major trouble legally, resulting from my addiction, and so ashamed. Besides one close girlfriend who I confided in yesterday, this is the first time I am speaking about this to others.
I started taking Vicodin 3 years ago. I lost almost 300 lbs and had 3 consecutive surgeries to remove 20 lbs of excess skin. The recovery was unbearable and I was prescribed Vicodin. Here I am 3 years later with a 20-30 pill a day (7.7/750mg) habit 24 hours behind me and feeling high as a kite on Suboxone Rolling Eyes Dont get me wrong I am so grateful that this is helping me through the wd, lord knows I have tried without the Sub and was not able to go more than 1/2 day without feeling like death. One of my major regrets is that I didnt do this "before" getting busted.
I took my first 8mg dose this morning and 30 minutes later I was flying, which lasted mostly all day. Am I supposed to feel that way? I am supposed to take 2 a day so I only took 1/2 dose 15 minutes ago hoping it will just make sleeping easier and not make me feel high. I am chain smoking like crazy…is this normal?
I am sorry about the long post I just feel so alone and confused. Vicodin has ruined my life and I want to do whatever I need to get it back. Sad Thank you for listening.