Author: MovieMaker1
Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 12:47 am
Hey. Thanks man. Thanks to you both really.
My life didn’t start to actually change and actually get better in a real sense until I tried to find spirituality in my life/recovery.
I tried just going to meetings and not doing much, going to counseling/random treatments, taking suboxone and just living life, ect. I tried tons of variations of many things to try and not only stay clean but be happy doing it and that puzzle didn’t come together for me until I just completely gave up trying to control how my recovery or life was GOING to work. I just started listening to others that seemed at least half sane, made some clean friends to hang with… Well one lol…, giving recovery an HONEST attempt, forcing myself to do "right things" until it stuck, and prayed/lived a somewhat spiritual way.
Faith has changed my life drastically. I’ll say that again….. FAITH has changed my LIFE drastically. Not just my recovery "life"
Being able to wake up, go to work, play around, and go to bed… All without worrying about problems I have to fix or bullshit that doesn’t really matter…. Is the best thing ever. This is why I don’t stress the whole getting off of suboxone thing. I feel like if I’m supposed to be off of it, then things will present themselves at the right time. Now. I’m not an advocate for saying that I don’t have to worry about ANYTHING because my HP will take care of me NO MATTER WHAT. Many don’t plan ahead or anything. Even quit jobs. All because their hp will take care of it. This is so not the way it was intended to be understood.
You have to take care of yourself ahead of all else. If you are wreck less and still act super self centered…. Like quitting a job because you don’t get your way…. Your hp isn’t going to be their waiting to catch you.
My point is. Do the best you can and your hp will take care of you. End of story.
Also. Your hp doesnt "test" you. It doesn’t put drugs in your face to ser if you’ll do them or make your tire go flat in the way to work ti see how you handle it. You put yourself around drugs and tire flattening is just the luck of the draw. Your hp isn’t going to do anything to hurt you. It’s here to help. That’s all. It’ll never give you more than you can handle.
So. I’m happy today. Happy with my life. Happy with my one good friend. Just happy. All because I continue to do the best that I can to stay clean, do the right things, make good decisions, ect. And in return my higher power watches over me. Whether it’s the unexpected bonus at work when I’m strapped for cash, a friend feeding me a kick ass meal when I’m starving lol, or this happiness I feel on a daily basis. He’s there. I trust him. It works.
