Cant figure this out

Author: Porksword08

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:31 pm

You make a good point, while technically I am sober, I’m not shooting heroin anymore. And to me if I wanna eat 4 buckets of ice cream everyday I’m going to lol.. That’s just my addictive personality. I’m fully aware of what it takes to get off, and the effort it takes on my part. when I said I’m just clean I’m still taking an opiate. Subs are partial opiate. There’s a lot of controversy over wether some ppl in AA/NA think if your on sub your not clean. I’m not saying you are or you aren’t. speaking for myself i still hang onto a lot of the old habits. Clean is still running around taking sub just not my drug of choice. Sober is a complete lifestyle change. People get hung up on that, some people will never be sober just clean and abstinent. In my logical way of thinking which in no way is what it is, but sub although doesnt cause euphoria is still very potent. In my humble opinion made my first mistake using it for maintenance for 3 4 years. Should only be used for a couple months in my situation becAuse i knew I was finished, I had had it. I was so sick of the life that I didn’t keep jumping back on, I got clean Nd stayed clean. Sometimes it’s hard but the sub for me at least worked for awhile but now it’s just keeping me trapped. And I feel it keeps a lot of people trapped. I’m just thankful I’m not the guy that no matter what happens i just keep fucking up and shooting stuff. I’m 25 years old. Time to man up. Life’s easy on sub other then the side affects. It’s when I try and come off that it gets a little iffy. I’m so used to that constant skin crawling and achy ness, on top of my ADHD, bi polar and depression with some anxiety. People say ya know, and I agree that sometimes it’s not good to come off if the patent is gonna possibly relapse. Sub is always the better road of the 2 but I’m not staying on it for 34 years to find out what long term side affects its got. I can tell u this med may not be rat poison but it ain’t good for you either, I promise you that much because I’ve been on it 4 5 years i know what it’s preventing from healing. So my advice to anybody is use it for tapering and off ,not Maintence if you can help it. Sometimes you have to though.but it’s just so much harder to kick then.